She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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