I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
