he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
