i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
