worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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