I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
