Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
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I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
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if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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