i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
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what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
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I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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