Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
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he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
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I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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