In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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