So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
