I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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