Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
