You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
if i died would you start the facebook group?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
