Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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