If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
