I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
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He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
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Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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