Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
