that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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