Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
