roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
