Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
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