Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
