I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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