Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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