Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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