my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
