I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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