I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I came so hard my ears popped.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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