there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
