what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Let's paint friendship bongs
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
