I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
