I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
