Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
