Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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