Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
