This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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