party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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