Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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