if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed