You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
