I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
