i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
where does the pee come out of this thing
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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