we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
