Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize