and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
