What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
