Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
