Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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