I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
