i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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