Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
