i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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