fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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