it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
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