? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
