too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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