fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
