wrigley field is MILF paradise
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
